((((ُعَنْه))))

!سألها أحدهم على أي حال تتمنينه أن يكون ؟

فأجابت باختصار ، (أريده على دين و خُلُق) ظناً منها أنها قد أحسنت الرد فيما اشتملت عليه هاتين الكلمتين من معانٍ جميلة لا حصر لها ناسية أن تلك المعاني تغيّرت ، هذا و إن وجدت أصلاً ، ففي مجتمعنا الآن بعضهم يرى أن المتدين هو من يصلي الفرائض ، و الخَلوق هو من عفّ لسانه عن استخدام الألفاظ البذيئه و ليس كلها فمنها ما هو أقل درجة في البذاءه فـَ يرى أنها مباحة في التعبير عن أراءه أو المزاح بها مع أصحابه

سألها ثانية غير فاهماً لهذا الاختصار راغباً في التعمق في تفاصيل أكثر

فاسترجعت إجابتها و وجدتها أنها بالفعل غير كافيه و بدأت في سرد التفاصيل بعينين لامعتين و وجه متورّد بالحياء ثم قالت، أريده رجلاً يعرف للرجولة خصالٍ و معانٍ ليس اسماً فحسب .. اريده سائراً على نهج المصطفى صلَّ الله عليه و سلّم مُتحلياً بكل أخلاقه .. أريده ذا طموح و أهداف و ليس تافهاً .. أريده على علم كبير بدينه و ليس متعصباً غير فاهماً لتعاليم دينه الجميله .. أريده حافظاً للقرآن و إن لم يكن فسنختمه سوياً .. أريده مُعمراً لبيوت الله ..أريده طاهر الجوارح يعني ذا أذنين كارهتين لسماع لهو يغضب الله و عينين محرم عليهما النظر للحرام و قدمين لا يسعيان إلا في كل خير يعني أريده واهباً حياته لله ، أما عن قلبه فأريده مملؤاً بحب الله و الرسول موصولاً بذكر الله دائماً ، فمن عرف محبة الله عرف معنى الحب الحقيقي و إني لا أخاف من قلب معلّق بالله.

ثم اختتمت كلامها بأنها تتمنى بيتها معه كقطعة من الجنة قائماً على الطاعة و معطرة أركانه بذكر الله و شاهداً لهما يوم القيامة بحسن الطاعه و الصلاة و قراءة القرآن و ذكر الله دون فتور.

!قال لها ، و ماذا عن متاع الدنيا ؟! ألا تحلمين بمسكن فاخر و عربة و أشياء مثل ذلك مما يحلم به بنات جيلك ؟

ضحكت و قالت له ، والله لا يعنيني ما لديه فرسولي قال (من ترضون دينه و خُلُقه) و ليس أمواله .. فماذا أفعل بكل هذا إن لم يكن على خُلق و يعرف كيف المعامله بالمعروف ؟! أنا أريده غنياً بالأخلاق .. أما عن متاع الدنيا فهذا رزق و الله يقسم الأرزاق و لا يظلم أحد أبدا و إني على يقين بأن ما لم أنله في الدنيا سيرزقني الله إياه في الأخره حتى و إن كان الزواج نفسه ، فالزواج رزق أيضاً و الله يدبر لنا كل أمورنا بعناية بالغة بما فيه الخير لنا .. الله كريم جداً 

تبسّم في صمت ، ثم سألها إذا كانت تريد قول شئ أخر ؟

قالت، أسأل الله أن يعفّني و بنات المسلمين و أن يكفينا بحلاله عن حرامه و يغنينا بفضله عمّن سواه

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When “She” Loved Me!

MWhen somebody loved me,
Everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together, Lives withing my heart,
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was I!
When she loved me.
Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all!
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be,
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her,
And I knew that she loved me.

Miss u so much

So the years went by,
I stayed the same,
And she began to drift away,
I was left alone,
Still I waited for the day,
when she’d say
“I Will Always Love You”
Lonely and forgotten,
never thought she’d look my way,
She smiled at me and held me,
just like she used to do,
Like she loved me, when she loved me!

When somebody loved me,
everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together,
lives within my heart,
When She Loved Me!

Forever Unanswerable!

Who am I ?!
Why am I here in this world ?!
How does this life work ?!
What do (Love, Soulmate, friend) mean ?!
Why do I always get sad easily ?!
Why do I love people honestly while almost of them don’t ?!
Why do I always respect and appreciate people’s feelings while they hurt with no care ?!
Why do I believe every word is said to me ?!
Am I really a naive person ?!
Am I really strong or just pretend to be ?!
and if I was really strong, so why I need those whom I love to be always near and suffer a lot once they leave ?!
or Am I really weak and dependent ?!
I don’t try to tell you that I’m an ideal girl, or that I’ve such kind of feeling that I’m persecuted by everyone. NO!
But when I love any person, I do it honestly, I care too much and even ready to sacrifice for pleasing them.
For more than 2 years, and all these thoughts and unanswerable questions surround me and prevent me from taking a comfortable quiet breath.
I discovered that I misunderstood this life, how it works and all the people.
I’m now lost in this world and drowning in my grief, life problems and so many bad emotions.
I no longer able to deal with people, as I no longer trust and believe in anything.
See, how I became!
you know, once a person come and tell me anything whatever, the first reaction my mind take is “This could be fake, what guarantee that this person and his words are true, Don’t do the same mistake again, Don’t believe, Don’t trust, Don’t open your heart!”  all these words became like a principle I follow and a slogan which I raise it up in everyone’s face.
I wanna really know what’s the right way of dealing with life and people without getting pain.
I don’t like the idea of being surrounded by all of these darkness while I’m in my twentieth and being called as a gloomy girl and love the life of drama!!
I got sick of the whole life, people and no longer like talking or revealing anything about me.
I feel that I became a stranger here, even stranger among those whom I love and were like a home to me. I just feel homesick all the time!
Yes, I know that it’s always my fault, but this is who I’m and what I feel. I’m not such person who can control her emotions and be cruel with people, I really can’t do!
I love you, then you hurt me so it gonna be so hard to me, because I’ll not be able to hate you or treat you cruelly!

-I’m just trying to express what I’m feeling, although this doesn’t describe well, as I became failing even in expressing about what I feel!

Oh Memories!

There’s no doubt that every person have a lot of memories through every moment passes.
Indeed, memories are so kind, because it’s the only thing that don’t leave us whatever happened, even if those whom we shared the memory with left us!
when we sit alone, memories act like best friend and share us our loneliness and either they make us smile and forget our loneliness by remembering us with every beautiful moment we once lived in the past, and how we were happy, or we just got sad and this happen when we back to the current moment and realize that it’s not more than a memory, as memory means past, and past means that it’s over and will never come again, sadly!
when we look at the old pictures, we will find that almost of the lovely people who were with us no longer exist in our life, as they either left to hereafter (May They R.I.P), or they became so busy with their own life and so they have no time to remember what was in the past..
Memories are the only thing which really know what Forever” means, because only them which will accompany us till the last breath.
The person who is truly honest in his emotions couldn’t forget a word he once heard from a dear person to his heart, a promise, a picture they shared together one day even its date, place, and how their feeling was at that moment.
And He will never be alone, such person who  save his memories in his heart before his memories’ box!

I didn’t once think in memories or even was interested about it, but I just felt nostalgia towards it when I missed almost of the people whom I used to see around. I felt that I’m in need to read all the words they once wrote for me, to hear all the songs they once dedicate to me, to see the pictures, to close my eyes and remember myself when I was with them and the sweet emotions I felt at that time. You have no idea how memories kill me inside, and in spite of that, I never stopped doing this everyday or get bored with it, and I’m sure I’ll never do!

I have a lot of memories with everyone I know, those which inspire me, and those which make me wanna die, not because they are bad, but because who I shared the memories with is no longer near.
You know, I wished to have memories with my father! Actually, I searched hard to find any little memory, but sadly I got disappointed, because I didn’t find anything except some of confusing emotions inside which is in love, but can’t reveal!
*SIGHS*
My heart is full of a lot of the sweet emotions which became now mere memories,
My mind also is full of situations which I shared with many lovely people everywhere,
My ears save all the sweet sounds which they once fell in love with,
My hand couldn’t forget a special touch it once got from a best friend was holding it kindly,
My  eyes too couldn’t forget someone once wiped its tears away, and then let the lips got a secret smile,

I’m really thankful for all the sweet memories I shared with everyone, you have to know that you did a great favor to me by being a part of my life and leaving sweet memories for me to remember.. Thank You! 

Will You Stand By Me ?!

Nothing’s impossible
Nothing’s unreachable
When I’m weary, You make me stronger
This Love is beautiful
So unforgettable
I feel no winter cold, when we’re together
When We’re Together!
Will You Stand By Me ?! Hold on and never let me go!
Will You Stand By Me ?!
With you I know I belong,
When the story gets told
When day turns into night
I Look into your eyes
I see my future now
All the world and its wonder
This Love Won’t Fade Away!!
And through the hardest days,I’ll never question us
You’re the reason
My Only Reason!
Will You Stand By Me ?!
Hold on and never let me go!
I’m Blessed to find what I need in a world loosing hope,
You’re my only hope!
 You make things right everytime after time.
Will You Stand By Me ?!
Hold On And NEVER let me go!
Will You Stand By Me ?!
Will I Be A Part Of Your Life ?!
When the story gets told
Won’t you Stand  by me?!
No My darling!
See, I want you by my side!
See, I need you here with me!
STAND BY ME!