When “She” Loved Me!

MWhen somebody loved me,
Everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together, Lives withing my heart,
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was I!
When she loved me.
Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all!
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be,
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her,
And I knew that she loved me.

Miss u so much

So the years went by,
I stayed the same,
And she began to drift away,
I was left alone,
Still I waited for the day,
when she’d say
“I Will Always Love You”
Lonely and forgotten,
never thought she’d look my way,
She smiled at me and held me,
just like she used to do,
Like she loved me, when she loved me!

When somebody loved me,
everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together,
lives within my heart,
When She Loved Me!

Forever Unanswerable!

Who am I ?!
Why am I here in this world ?!
How does this life work ?!
What do (Love, Soulmate, friend) mean ?!
Why do I always get sad easily ?!
Why do I love people honestly while almost of them don’t ?!
Why do I always respect and appreciate people’s feelings while they hurt with no care ?!
Why do I believe every word is said to me ?!
Am I really a naive person ?!
Am I really strong or just pretend to be ?!
and if I was really strong, so why I need those whom I love to be always near and suffer a lot once they leave ?!
or Am I really weak and dependent ?!
I don’t try to tell you that I’m an ideal girl, or that I’ve such kind of feeling that I’m persecuted by everyone. NO!
But when I love any person, I do it honestly, I care too much and even ready to sacrifice for pleasing them.
For more than 2 years, and all these thoughts and unanswerable questions surround me and prevent me from taking a comfortable quiet breath.
I discovered that I misunderstood this life, how it works and all the people.
I’m now lost in this world and drowning in my grief, life problems and so many bad emotions.
I no longer able to deal with people, as I no longer trust and believe in anything.
See, how I became!
you know, once a person come and tell me anything whatever, the first reaction my mind take is “This could be fake, what guarantee that this person and his words are true, Don’t do the same mistake again, Don’t believe, Don’t trust, Don’t open your heart!”  all these words became like a principle I follow and a slogan which I raise it up in everyone’s face.
I wanna really know what’s the right way of dealing with life and people without getting pain.
I don’t like the idea of being surrounded by all of these darkness while I’m in my twentieth and being called as a gloomy girl and love the life of drama!!
I got sick of the whole life, people and no longer like talking or revealing anything about me.
I feel that I became a stranger here, even stranger among those whom I love and were like a home to me. I just feel homesick all the time!
Yes, I know that it’s always my fault, but this is who I’m and what I feel. I’m not such person who can control her emotions and be cruel with people, I really can’t do!
I love you, then you hurt me so it gonna be so hard to me, because I’ll not be able to hate you or treat you cruelly!

-I’m just trying to express what I’m feeling, although this doesn’t describe well, as I became failing even in expressing about what I feel!

Oh Memories!

There’s no doubt that every person have a lot of memories through every moment passes.
Indeed, memories are so kind, because it’s the only thing that don’t leave us whatever happened, even if those whom we shared the memory with left us!
when we sit alone, memories act like best friend and share us our loneliness and either they make us smile and forget our loneliness by remembering us with every beautiful moment we once lived in the past, and how we were happy, or we just got sad and this happen when we back to the current moment and realize that it’s not more than a memory, as memory means past, and past means that it’s over and will never come again, sadly!
when we look at the old pictures, we will find that almost of the lovely people who were with us no longer exist in our life, as they either left to hereafter (May They R.I.P), or they became so busy with their own life and so they have no time to remember what was in the past..
Memories are the only thing which really know what Forever” means, because only them which will accompany us till the last breath.
The person who is truly honest in his emotions couldn’t forget a word he once heard from a dear person to his heart, a promise, a picture they shared together one day even its date, place, and how their feeling was at that moment.
And He will never be alone, such person who  save his memories in his heart before his memories’ box!

I didn’t once think in memories or even was interested about it, but I just felt nostalgia towards it when I missed almost of the people whom I used to see around. I felt that I’m in need to read all the words they once wrote for me, to hear all the songs they once dedicate to me, to see the pictures, to close my eyes and remember myself when I was with them and the sweet emotions I felt at that time. You have no idea how memories kill me inside, and in spite of that, I never stopped doing this everyday or get bored with it, and I’m sure I’ll never do!

I have a lot of memories with everyone I know, those which inspire me, and those which make me wanna die, not because they are bad, but because who I shared the memories with is no longer near.
You know, I wished to have memories with my father! Actually, I searched hard to find any little memory, but sadly I got disappointed, because I didn’t find anything except some of confusing emotions inside which is in love, but can’t reveal!
*SIGHS*
My heart is full of a lot of the sweet emotions which became now mere memories,
My mind also is full of situations which I shared with many lovely people everywhere,
My ears save all the sweet sounds which they once fell in love with,
My hand couldn’t forget a special touch it once got from a best friend was holding it kindly,
My  eyes too couldn’t forget someone once wiped its tears away, and then let the lips got a secret smile,

I’m really thankful for all the sweet memories I shared with everyone, you have to know that you did a great favor to me by being a part of my life and leaving sweet memories for me to remember.. Thank You! 

Will You Stand By Me ?!

Nothing’s impossible
Nothing’s unreachable
When I’m weary, You make me stronger
This Love is beautiful
So unforgettable
I feel no winter cold, when we’re together
When We’re Together!
Will You Stand By Me ?! Hold on and never let me go!
Will You Stand By Me ?!
With you I know I belong,
When the story gets told
When day turns into night
I Look into your eyes
I see my future now
All the world and its wonder
This Love Won’t Fade Away!!
And through the hardest days,I’ll never question us
You’re the reason
My Only Reason!
Will You Stand By Me ?!
Hold on and never let me go!
I’m Blessed to find what I need in a world loosing hope,
You’re my only hope!
 You make things right everytime after time.
Will You Stand By Me ?!
Hold On And NEVER let me go!
Will You Stand By Me ?!
Will I Be A Part Of Your Life ?!
When the story gets told
Won’t you Stand  by me?!
No My darling!
See, I want you by my side!
See, I need you here with me!
STAND BY ME!

You Are The Enemy Of Yourself!

Everyone of us could be the enemy of himself by spoiling his heart, and this happen when we care so much for those who don’t care about us as much as we do about them,
when we love anyone more than ourselves,
when we give so much and don’t get back anything,
when we let our hearts get close to anyone,
when we let our happiness or sadness relied on someone’s existence,
when we don’t learn from the lessons that life teach us everyday,
when we listen carefully to the negative words which people always say to disappoint us and let them affect easily on us, and mute the positive sound,
when we close our eyes and don’t see those who love us honestly more than we love them and we don’t even care not for ignorance, but because we just open our eyes for what we want to see and we focus only on that person who even may don’t love us as much as those people do,
when we think that someone will love us more than himself,
when we think that someone will sacrifice for us or even sacrifice to make us happy,
when we let someone be the controller of our hearts,
when we try to satisfy everyone around till we fall down and  this all will be at last with no appreciation from them,
when we keep standing at the same place and everyone around move on and they are busy updating their life , but we just share them their updates and support them forgetting ourselves!!!

FORGET IT!
Look at yourself and see where you are standing now?
how much time you wasted for blessing those who hurt you?
look at your heart and see how it became dark and full of depression?
see how you let everything beautiful inside you die?
count how many times you cared about yourself and made anything you love to make yourself happy? you just do your best to make them happy and forget yourself too, although they don’t care at least as much as you do!

WAKE UP!
Be careful from now, and don’t let anyone spoil your heart and your days!
Be the manager of your life and make yourself happy, because no one will do!
Clear your sight and look around you may see something inspire you, and you may see those who honestly love you and you don’t care about them. Try to care about them , because you know how ignorance hurt so much!
Love yourself at first , appreciate yourself, and value your heart,  so no one will be able to shake you!

Actually, I’m not that person who is doing the best always and who is qualified to give advices, but I just got hurt many times, and many people I love disappointed me and broke my heart that’s why I decided to care more about myself, to advice everyone not to love anyone more than himself in order not to get hurt because it’s really painful.
Everyone please, take care of your heart!

“You are the enemy of yourself” were the most effective words I got from my friend, and didn’t think in its meaning till I realized that she’s totally right and I’m really the enemy of myself, because I’m the one who spoil her life, herself, and her heart!
Thank you my friend Hagar- for pointing my attention to care more about myself, and to love myself.
I’m really so grateful for every advice I got from you!