Actually, I feel that I Lost everything even expressing what I feel, but I used to write to feel better.
What I feel now is a case of unconscious, I’m alive and my eyes are opened and also my mind is awake, but in fact I can’t see anything or even feel what the people do around me, I laugh loudly all the time waiting the moment that I’ll be alone to cry in silence , many times I walk out with my friends playing & joking , but I do that not with my soul but only with my body ….
I feel that I’m a body with a dead soul 😦
I feel that everything became dark in my eyes, nothing cheer me up whatever it was, as I don’t wanna talk to anyone.
I only wanna cry all the time to feel better, although crying no longer heal!!
I was strong before and I was known that I’m the girl of the good smile & never stop laughing loudly and make all the people around her happy , but now I don’t know what happened to me ?!
why I’ve totally changed ?!
why I’m Lost like that ?!
may be I know the reason , but I try to forget it!
I try to overcome that feeling , but I swear I can’t 😦
I trust in Allah and that He will make me pass fast from that tribulation , because He is the Only One Who know what’s inside me and He’s the Only One Who able to heal it…
This is not disobedience, but it’s stronger than bearing it 😦 😦