Searching for something that I’ll never find..!!

My Blog, plz listen to me as I’m suffering from loneliness, although I’ve a lot of ppl around me and am sure that they truly love me … But the problem that they don’t understand me…

Everyone see the problem in his viewpoint , then try to help me getting a solution in the way of what brain say, they couldn’t feel me as they are soo far of me…

Mum always think that I’m still a kid, she don’t understand me or even try to do, meanwhile there are a lot of problems and now distances started to be away ..!!

“I Love my mum soooo much, and I always want to make her happy, but she doesn’t want.. I also know that she wanna see me happy and has all the goods in life, but she thinks that this kind of happiness is achieved by giving me a new thing like gift.. then when we reach to the point that we can’t understand each other, she thinks that I’m an ugly girl , as she want me happy and make all her best to bless me , and I cause her a lot of pains…. :(” So we suffer from many problems..!

Dad is totally convinced that I’m such a complicated girl who suffer from many problems in her life and her life is complex, although I’m not.  when I try to change this idea, he doesn’t believe me 😀 .. He has a great family, so he doesn’t care about me and this is the fact that I understand it well and haven’t any problems with it :S.. By the way, my dad also thinks that happiness by money, but I don’t need your money dad. I just need you..!!

ppl around me are used to blame me, as in their viewpoint that I’ve to make the first step “ana ma3rafsh eh hya el step de aslan” , but all I know that there is a huge bridge between me and my dad :(..!

I love you my dad, but I can’t say it, because you don’t give me the chance to say it & also the time is passed 😦

He doesn’t know me well to understand me and also I’m…So, he may see me such an ugly girl 😦

All what I want to say that the idea of being an ugly girl makes me disappointed and depressed, bcoz I’m not

I always try to be that girl who honours her parents for the sake of Allah, but they oblige me to do another thing which I hate to do. Both feel that I don’t love them, but I swear I love them soo much , but all the problem that they don’t give themselves a  chance to believe 😦

**I don’t mean that they are bad, they are  the best parents in my eyes, as they want me happy , but in their way ..!

Till that time I don’t find the person who gives me everything and understand me well. By the way, am not difficult.. :S

momkn law 7ad 2ara el kalam dh y2ol 3laya bnt msh kwaysa bas ana ma5no2aaaaaaa gedan w msh la2ya ely yfhamny w msh kol shoaya ha3od ashtky ana mb7bsh akon el bnt el ka2eba ely 3alatool btshtky w b2et atkasf mn kotr mana mday2a eny a7ky.. b2et a5aby w m2olsh l 7ad bas 7assa eny hanfgr mn kotr ely gwaya, 3lshan keda katabt ely gwaya hna, 7ata akon etkalmt m3a 7ad …!

I’m not angel too, but that’s over 😦 😦

“Love you my parents”

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Searching for something that I’ll never find..!!

  1. جوجي
    انتي حزينه اوي للدرجة دي
    للدرجه دي شايله ومعبيه
    انا عايزة افهم انتي تقصدي ايه باجلي بالظبط
    عشان يعني نوع اللبس مثلا ؟
    جهاد انتي ابعد ما تكوني عن كده لو ده قصدك
    انتي ما شاء الله جميلة جدا
    خلينا نشوف اللبس الاول
    طريقه لبسك في غايه الجمال فيه كتير عايزين يوصلوا لها بس مش شجاعين كفايه انهم يقدموا علي الخطوة دي
    واللي ميعجبوش طريقة لبسك (حد غريب يعني) يبقي ميستاهلكيش وميعرفش يقدرك ويقدر جمالك
    وبنت زيك مليون حد يتمناها بس ممكن يكونوا مش قادرين مثلا يقدموا علي خطوة رسمي او حاجة

    اما بالنسبه لجمال الشكل فانا متكلمش بقي وعيب اقولك اصلا
    ما شاء الله يعني
    بس مش هينفع اقعد اتغزل في جمالك كفايه بس ان عنيكي واسعه كعيون المها 😀

    اما جمال الروح او جمال الاخلاق فده مش عايزة اتكلم عليه كتير
    انتي عارفه نفسك كويس يا جهاد واكيد انتي مش هتنافقيني لأني صاحبتك والصحاب بيبانوا كويس لبعض
    حتي لو انتي مخبيه حاجات ومتخيله انك لو بينتيها للناس هتتغير فكرتهم عنك
    دي بتبقي هواجس بس ولو بينتي الحاجات دي حتي محدش هيتغير منك

    ده بالنسبه لموضوع اجلي لأني مفهمتش تقصدي منها ايه بالظبط
    البقيه تأتي علي ما اركز واستجمع قواي الفكرية واعرف ارد عليكي 😀

  2. ســـــــــــــــــاره حبيبتي ربنا يخليكي يارب والله ده انا حاسه اني هعيط من كتر الكلام الجميل ده ،،، ربنا يجعلني عند حسن ظنك بيا يــــارب 🙂
    __________

    في الواقع يا ساره مخبيش عليكي انا اخدت فتره على ما فهمت (اجلي) بس الحمدلله وصلت 😀
    انا مش قصدي ugly
    اني وحشه او كده بس قصدي انهم بيعتبروني مذنبه مع انها مش حاجات تخليني مذنبه او في وجهة نظرهم اني لما بعمل كده ببقى بنت معقده مثلا في نظر والدي و بت انانيه و بتاعة مصلحتها في نظر امي حبيبتي 😀

    _____________

    يمكن اي حد يقرا يقول عليا اني بنت مش متربيه و لا مش باره بوالديها زي ما تقريبا بسمعها كتير من غير ما اعمل حاجه علشان بشتكي يعني بس انا بفضفض يعني مش اكتر
    اوووو
    زي برضه ما سمعتها قبل كده و انا بتكلم مع صاحبتي قالتلي و انتي مفكره احلامك الورديه بتاعة بابا مش بيتكلم معايا و ماما مش فاهمني دي موجوده بجد ،،، على فكره يا جهاد انا عايشه معاهم في البيت و لا حد بيسأل فيا !!
    افحمتني بصراحه بس بدأت الرؤيه توضح عندي شويه و من يومها قلت قشطه مش لوحدي بس كتيييير بيجيلي هاجس الحلم ده و براة الاطفال و الله بحس اني طفله هبله عاوزه باباها يجبلها حاجه حلوه و لا مامتها …………… قشطه يعني

    __________________________

    انا كل اللي عاوزاه ربنا يرضى عني محسش طوول الوقت اني مش باره ببابا و ماما ،، بضايق لما بيحسسوني بكده علشان تقريبا طول الوقت زعلانين مني 😦

    بس ياستي !

  3. You sure do have the dexterity with words. I delight in the atticism of your shorthand. Have you contemplated getting compensated for what you already do? I have been banking a few bucks penning weblog posts and content articles for various companies. They really need writers bad! I would truly state that you possess potentiality.

    -Aspen

    The scoop

  4. Thanks alot for your nice words,
    but I’m student , and don’t have time to write.
    I just wrote these words to express my feelings, because I was really depressed at that time.
    Thanks alot for your offer 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s